Planes, Trains and Angry Cabbies (Sourpuss Clothing Shoot)

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I thought I would never get to New Jersey when I heard that my flight got delayed.  I was certain I’d done something bad and karma was teaching me a lesson when it got delayed four more hours.  I became friends with a feisty and pissed off grandma who tried to scare me with horror stories involving a New York winter while we waited.  I didn’t listen.  In fact, I got even more excited when I heard the word “snow.”   As JetBlue tried to calm us down with food vouchers (they know Puerto Ricans very well), I re-read some old e-mails.  It hit me that I’d already confirmed my presence at a photo shoot in a town I’d never heard of.  Not even in Kristen Stewart indie movies.  Pennsahken?  Pennsoahken?  Pennsauken.

I’ve been entering Instagram giveaways since I joined the social networking site and didn’t think twice when I saw a post by Sourpuss Clothing looking for models for their Spring 2015 collection.  I’d been a fan of the company for a couple of years and was familiar with their brand.  I even had a sticker on my laptop that read “A Classy Kind of Trashy.”  The sticker was always on display because I believed it defined my personality.  My hair may be up in victory rolls, but I have sailor’s mouth.  I remember thinking it was perfect timing because I would be in New Jersey around that time.  My flight was booked in September and I was going to leave island life behind for two weeks on December 7th.

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                                       Steady Jessie Dress, $72

Scratch that.  I was going to leave on the 8th thanks to JetBlue.  My shoot was scheduled for the 9th and I felt myself getting a bit stressed out sitting next to the angry granny.  Fast forward to when I actually got on the plane and I cried quietly because of the non-stop turbulence.  I was glad it was only a 4 hour flight.  I would not make it alive if the plane is that shaky during an international one.

December 8th

After getting off at the wrong stop thinking I was in Trenton, a nice lady got me on the right train.  One stop and another train later, I was in Pennso… Pennsah… Pennsauken.  I waited for 40 minutes in the cold for a cabby that would later try to hang up a phone call by saying in Spanish that gringos don’t like it when cabbies are talking on the phone.  I surprised him by asking where he’s from—in Spanish.  Turns out we’re basically neighbors.  He’s from the Dominican Republic and I’m from right next to him.  I left him a hefty tip hoping he’d realize that just because a girl had a fair complexion and fake red hair doesn’t necessarily mean she’s gringa.

I hate you, cabby.

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                       Hips and Hair I Hate You Ryder Dress, $50

Can you smile and flip the bird?

After a quick check-in at the motel, I walked about 10 minutes while being showered by freezing rain looking for my room.  King sized bed, Kardashians on TV and a working cellphone.  I was ok.

I called the same cabby the next day even though I could walk to the Sourpuss Clothing warehouse.  I figured I’d spent too much time in the cold anyways.  I was greeted by Amanda, the photographer and what looked like a never ending shoe room.  Her colorful skin made me notice my lack of tattoos.  I hoped I wasn’t too clean looking for them.  I told her I had a septum piercing just in case they wanted to toughen me up a bit but she said it wasn’t necessary.  After getting my makeup done, a very nice lady started doing my hair and I learned that no matter where I go, I’ll always get the “Oh lord!  Thick hair… And lots of it!”  She was extremely patient and funny and it made me happy to hear positive comments about my hair rather than negative ones, which I often get in Puerto Rico.

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Hips and Hair Cute Ryder Dress, $50
Hips and Hair True Love Ryder Dress, $50
Hips and Hair Unimpressed Dress, $50

I was extremely nervous and stiff when Amanda started shooting me but I loosened up once she told me smiling is good and I saw a “Do not do this” sign showing a model with pouty lips and a sultry look.  They also asked me to pose with Alexa Nicole, an experienced alternative model from New Jersey.  After lots of changes and many fun dresses later, they took us to Wawa and I was a first timer.  I was impressed by the touch screen ordering thingamajig and by how fast they made my quesadillas.  Is this the real life?  Is this just fantasy?

After stuffing out faces, we went to Bombshell Pin Ups, a magical place with different themed rooms.  A.K.A. my future home.  We shot at a retro kitchen room and a circus themed one.  We were finally able to use props and had a ton of fun.  Alexa Nicole and I even “fed” each other fake cupcakes.  Yum.

Always feed the models.

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                               Hell Bunny Olivia Cardigan, $62
                               Hell Bunny Calaveras Cardigan, $62

When we returned to the Sourpuss warehouse, we got our checks, a goodie bag (4 dresses and a cardigan yaaaas) and Alexa offered me a ride so I could get back to where I was staying at by getting on a single train.

I’m glad I bit the bullet back in January of last year.  Committing to a daily workout and smaller portions of yummy food was tough but I finally got to where I wanted to be.  I still have a less than long way to go, but I know I’ll get there this year.

This was truly a super fun experience and I got a sneak peek at Sourpuss’s Spring 2015 collection, which is ah-mah-zahng!  I now wish Puerto Rico had more reliable public transportation.  I would take the train every single day.

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                                                   Steady Diva Swing Dress, $76

Can anyone get married?  I need an excuse to purchase this dress.  Please and thank you.

And the shy girl went to Paris…

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As the summer slowly comes to an end, I realize I’m about to start my last semester as a college student.  I remember my first day as a freshman and how I almost cried 17 times before the day was over.  I didn’t know how huge the campus really was or how much my tiny legs were going to suffer.  It was a crappy day out, too.  Rain was pouring over my umbrella and the poor thing didn’t last as a functioning object for very long.  Worst of all, most of my professors didn’t show up and I got to the apartment leaving a trail of drips of water for nothing.  Yeah, I also got sick.

That day kind of set the tone for my entire college experience.  It’s not that I didn’t like my classes… I loved them, but the people… Ugh, the people!  It shouldn’t be a surprise that a shy girl from Ponce barely made any friends in her four years at the best university on the island, the University of Puerto Rico, Rio Piedras campus.  San Juan was a scary place.  It still is.  I was a big fish in a tiny pond in Ponce but I felt like a goldfish in a shark tank in San Juan.  Also, I never really got along with most of my housemates.  

MarielaThis is Mariela.  One of the very few housemates I got along with.  We tried opening a bottle of wine once… Using a shoe and a wall.  Don’t ask.

I started to diet and work out a bit in January.  I said goodbye to 2013 weighing 155 lbs. and was not happy at all.  One of the changes I made was to start drinking water– a lot of it.  Naturally, my body sent me to the bathroom at least every half hour.  My 17 and 18 year old roommates took advantage of the situation by hogging the bathroom.  I know this is going to sound a bit gross, but this is the place where I can not only be honest with myself, but with you guys as well…  I peed in a tiny trashcan in my room.  

I still remember the first time I had to do it.  I could feel my bladder wanting to explode.  I began crying quietly in my room and then I saw it, my friend, the trashcan.  Luckily, I had dozens of grocery bags stored under the bed for some weird emergency, I guess.  Boy, this was some emergency.  It felt so nice to squat down and let go (I swear it was pee) and my tears were scared off by the smile that took over my face.  

Like this story, I have many other [negative] experiences I enjoy sharing with people.  They usually laugh at them and making people laugh makes me happy.  But I often wondered if I had any positive college life experiences.  As I look back, there aren’t very many but the few that I have are amazing.  

Mariela, one of the few roommates I actually enjoyed spending time with took me to get my very first tattoo with a friend, Xaira.  These girls are seriously the two most awesome people I know.  They made the process seem less scary and before I knew it, I had part of a poem I wrote on my back.  I may think it’s a little too big now but I’ll never regret it.  It’s a reminder of one of the best days of my life.  I got to skip my Social Science class.  Nope, no regrets.  

As the years went by, the sudden urge to do something interesting came over me.  I thought about spending a semester abroad, but my social anxiety wouldn’t allow it.  I settled for a study trip to Paris this past April.  It really set me back financially but I would spend $4,000 all over again to get those 10 magical days back.  Even just walking around in Paris was amazing.  Everywhere I looked I’d see a couple smiling at each other, people proudly walking their dogs, gorgeous buildings and amazing street performers.  I really felt like I was in a painting.  Everything was art.  Even getting lost was an art.  Yep, I got lost in Paris.  Thankfully, I was with my best friend, Nicole… That way, I couldn’t freak out all alone.  

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We decided to go into Notre Dame with a group of friends but we got out at different exits.  After looking around for a while, Nicole and I decided to walk around like total tourists tightly holding our maps.  Neither of us had a reliable sense of direction, so that didn’t work.  I know some French, but when you’re lost in a foreign country, fright takes control of your mind.  I couldn’t even remember how to ask where the metro station was.  Où est le métro? became the answer to a trivia question.

After walking for the longest half hour of our lives, we finally saw a sign that read “Metropolitan.”  We tried to act cool and contain our excitement but that didn’t really work.  Acting cool with the situation didn’t work either when we got stuck going up the Eiffel Tower.  After spending over an hour in line, we had two options: take the stairs to go up to what was once the tallest building in the world or take the elevator like the lazy-vertigo-fearing human beings we are.  As you can imagine, many people want to go up the tower every single day, so they pack in as many people as they can into that elevator.  My claustrophobic self closed her eyes and held on to the pole right in the middle of the sketchy elevator.  Everything was great… until it stopped moving.  Nicole looked and laughed at me but she wasn’t fooling anyone.  I knew her pants were about to get brown as well.  After a few and long seconds, it started moving again and we finally reached the top.  I got to scratch an item off my bucket list.

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The last days were the best because we got to do less tourist-y stuff.  We went thrifting and I found incredible 80s pieces.  Most of them are pretty big on me, but I learned how to sew this summer so I’ll be able to make them fit me!  I’m so excited!  The store is tiny and was really crowded at the time but that didn’t stop me!  I don’t know why, my social anxiety almost disappeared in France.  Probably because I was a tourist and didn’t care if I acted or said anything stupid.

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I know this trip wasn’t exactly related to what the college experience should be but it’s the best thing I’ve gotten out of these past almost five years.  I almost had a meltdown during the trip from Newark to Paris but I’d get on that flight again in a heartbeat to get champagne wasted during a Moulin Rouge show.  Best night ever.

10150793_10203875786362967_3502948182435025162_nSorry for the low quality pic but I didn’t want to take a big ‘ol camera with me to the show.  

Yes, my college experience hasn’t been all that great.  At least, it hasn’t been what it “should be” but I wouldn’t trade the years 2010-2014 for anything in the world.  My devils-for-housemates gave me stories to write.  The guys that got shot in front of my apartment showed me how precious and unpredictable life can be and my trip to Paris taught me to live life with no regrets… even if it’ll set you back $4,000.  Money is one thing, life experiences are another.  I’d rather have something to write about than cash in my pocket.  

Up next: NYC!

Liebster Award

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A couple of days ago, Mrs. Kaye nominated me for a Liebster award.  I know many bloggers find it annoying and some of them even consider it a form of chainmail.  I think it’s a fun way to discover new bloggers and even make new friends the only way I know how– via the internet!

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By the way, liebster is “darling” and “beloved” in German.  It also means “boyfriend.”  Weird.

The liebster is given to those with less than 200 followers.  I have over 200 followers on my Facebook page, but way less here on my actual blog, so I qualify.  If you receive it, you must list 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions, pick 11 nominees and send them your 11 questions for them to answer.  This award also has some rules.  For starters, you should link back to the person that nominated you.  Pretty simple, right?  Of course, you can’t nominate the person that nominated you and you have to let your nominees know they’ve been nominated.

Mrs. Kaye asked the following questions:

1. What is your dream job?

My dream job would be working for a fashion magazine in New York.  Editor-in-Chief would be the ideal position.

2. Favorite movie or movie genre?

Is 80s teen movies a movie genre?

3. Stuck on a desert island: 5 things/products you HAVE to have with you?

  • Chapstick
  • Hair tie
  • Sunblock
  • Socks
  • Imaginary friend

4. Pet Peeve?

When someone grabs my hand and starts rubbing it against denim.  Ugh!!!  I can’t handle the friction!

5. Celebrity crush?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  On the homo side, Emma Stone ❤

6. Musical guilty pleasure?

I can’t believe I’m admitting this… Miley Cyrus.

7. Dream vacation?

Las Vegas!

8. Preferred form of social media and why?

Facebook.  Probably because it’s the only one I’m remotely good at.

9. Favorite TV show?

My current favorite TV show is The Carrie Diaries.  Must I say why?  But my favorite TV show of all time is Golden Girls.

10. Celebrity you most dislike?

The Justins.  Justin Bieber and Justin Timberlake.

11. Is there a band or musical genre that you think people would be surprised to hear you enjoy/listen to?

Rap.  Yes, guys.  I enjoy rap.  I even know some of Nicki Minaj’s songs.  Shh!

11 Facts!

1.  My car is school bus yellow.  Eek!

2.  I’ve murdered my former housemates many, many times in my mind.

3.  I have an inner-lip tattoo.  It says “LOL.”

4.  I’ve had 16 piercings.

5.  I’m an overthinker.

6.  I can’t leave the house without mascara.

7.  Sorelle Amore thinks I have a pretty name.

8.  I went to a Lady Gaga concert alone.

9.  I love Jack & coke.

10.  I speak 3.5 languages.  Basic French and fluent Spanish, English and Sarcasm.

11.  I wish I were a nicer person.

And my nominees are…

1.  http://betsybgood.wordpress.com/

2.  http://lillynlilly.wordpress.com/

3.  http://letmebealittlecrazy.wordpress.com/

4.  http://kelseyrexroad8494.wordpress.com/

5.  http://cogitationproject.com/

6.  http://kathleenalison.wordpress.com/

7.  http://iambelicious.wordpress.com/

8.  http://shakeystacey.wordpress.com/

9.  http://beauteoptic.wordpress.com/

10.  http://makeupsurvival.wordpress.com/

11.  http://rizzardielena.wordpress.com/

My Questions

1.  Makeup or fashion?

2.  If you could travel in time, when would you go?

3.  Pearls or diamonds?

4.  Who’s your favorite person in the entire world?

5.  Favorite lipstick?

6.  Favorite movie?

7.  Is the glass half empty or half full?

8.  What do you do in your free time?

9.  Favorite beverage?

10.  Do you have any tattoos and / or piercings?

11.  Do you remember your dreams?

I hope you ladies accept my nomination and I look forward to reading more from you!

What’s a comin’!

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First of all, I wish you good karma points this New Year.  I know this year is already two weeks old, but good wishes are never too late.  I spent my whole Christmas break coughing up a storm.  My sleep was constantly interrupted by cough attacks that forced me to stand up just to be able to breath.  I had whooping cough.  Knowing I saw the commercial for the whooping cough vaccine on TV every day made me feel even worse about myself.

Other than coughing, I really didn’t do much during the break.  (FYI: My break is still not over.  My semester starts next Tuesday.)  I spent a few days reorganizing my closet by categories: crop tops, tank tops, sleeveless, short sleeves, long sleeves… Well, you get it.  My drawers were also organized and my purses are now side by side according to size.  My mom also got me a shoe rack which I gladly filled up but shamed myself when I realized I still needed a box to store away most of my shoes.  (Argh!  Too many!) Still, an organized room will always keep your mind organized.

I didn’t shop a lot during Christmas time.  Other than gifts, I bought a vintage leopard shirt from the 80s.  I’ve been trying to keep most of my money in the bank to pay off my Paris trip.  Want a money saving tip?  Start hiding money under your mattress.  Believe me, you’ll forget it’s there!  When it’s time to flip it, you’ll find cash!  I’ve shooed away many rainy days by doing this.

So 2014 is here and my guess is that gyms all over the island are crowded.  I’m sure they’ll remain like that until chocolate season, February.  I don’t believe in resolutions, but I must admit that I joined DailyBurn, an exercise  website.  I was watching Rock of Love on hulu (remember that show?) and DailyBurn was one of the advertisements.  Since then, I’ve canceled my hulu account (kind sucks for hulu right?) to be able to pay the $10 a month subscription.  Netflix is getting nixed next and I just hope my mom will be able to forgive me.  It’s been only a week and I’ve lost 6 pounds.  Not bad.  If you’re not used to working out, you should give it a chance.  It’s definitely working for me.

I also hope you’re a fan of YouTube because I’ll be on it pretty soon!  I hope this mini update inspired you to not only organize your closet, but organize your life in order to let go of stress and just becoming an overall happier person.  Many things are coming this year, so stay tuned!  Can that be said on a blog?  Let’s say yes.

Life: An Update

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 Where we left off

My last blog post was about my Urban Decay Giveaway.  You have until October 31st at 7 PM (Atlantic Standard Time) to enter.  This might help you if you’re like me when it comes to time zones.  I’ll do my best to get home before midnight to announce the winner.  If I can’t make it on time, I’ll let you guys know via Facebook.  If you’re interested in participating, click here for entry rules.

Activities and Fashion

I recently went to an antique car show in San Juan and met up with some of my friends.  Getting there was a hassle, especially after working until 4 AM the night before.  It was worth it, because we were able to take awesome pictures like these:

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While we were there, a couple of little girls said I looked like Katy Perry.  They made my day!

What I wore

I wore my favorite high waisted shorts from Forever 21.  I got them almost a year ago, so they’re not selling them anymore.  Mine are really beat up and in need of a replacement.  I didn’t want to let them go, so I did what I always do:  hunt them down in Google Images.  After looking at dozens and dozens of pictures, I finally found them.  I discovered Poshmark, a place to sell and buy clothing.  Unfortunately, it isn’t Paypal friendly.  If you’re interesting in something, try negotiating with the seller.  I was able to pay mine for the shorts through Paypal and am now a happy camper.  Just because I found a replacement, doesn’t mean I will actually replace them.  I’ll now use the beat up pair for school and save the nicer looking one for other ocassions.

I got the retro car crop top on eBay and it was the very last one in my size!  (Am I the only one that feels like celebrating when this is accomplished?)  I first learned this perfect top existed a few months ago thanks to Ashley Marie Rosas.

As for shoes, I wore simple black ballet flats which can be found almost anywhere.  Mine are from Sears and are breaking down on me.  They’ve attained a weird shape.

This past Saturday, one of my bosses asked me to dress up for work.  There was going to be a halloween party, although it did not look like it.  I’ve noticed that people in my hometown, Ponce, aren’t very fun.  They let themselves be controlled by the thought “Oh, but what will they think of me?”  Only a handful of people went dressed up.  I saw a cat, some guy with a hat (yup, just a hat), and a minion.  My co-workers simpy took their shirts off and put on a bow tie and when asked what they were, they said “strippers.”  So creative.

I, on the other hand, didn’t really have a costume ready and went throught my closet.  I found everything I needed to dress as Daria (please tell me I’m not the only one that remembers that show), but realized I would be sweating buckets while working.  So me as Daria, was a no-no.

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 The blazer / jacket is from Forever 21 and I got it a couple of years ago when blazers were really on trend.  I stole the  oreange tank top from my mom’s closet and the skirt is from Hot Topic.  I got it for $5 and  think that’s the only reason why I got it because it’s almost four years old and I’ve only worn it for about five minutes, the five minutes it took me to complete the look and get my phone to take this picture.

Those boots are Bongo.  My former housemate, Mariela, had a pair and she let me borrow them a couple of times.  I liked them so much I just had to get them and I did it though eBay.  I’ve been told they look like they were made for a wrestler.  They think this bothers me, when in reality it just makes the boots even more awesome.

After realizing Puerto Rico is too hot to wear a wannabe blazer jacket, I figured I should go with plan B, which didn’t exist at the time.  I looked in of my closets and found many fun things: full, red polkadotted skirts, a Pink Ladies jacket and my old Mario and Luigi caps.  The only outfit I could complete would’ve been a Super Mario homemade costume.  I thought about being dressed as Mario at the bar, but I wasn’t too fond of the idea of clients calling me Mario.

“Yo, Mario, can I get a vodka cranberry?  I got coins.”

I remembered I got a couple of playsuits from Sourpuss Clothing and one of them is sailor-inspired.  During the summer, I bought a mini sailor hat thinking I would be able to get a couple of pictures taken.  I even had the location and props thought-out.  The photoshoot never happened and I never got to wear the fun playsuit… Until this weekend.

sailor     sailor1   insta

I felt so confident, I even took my first instagram video!

School

Midterms, group projects and Double D’s!  Oh my!

After getting excited because I should be able to graduate in May, the excitement vanished when I got a D in Literary Theory and another after that… In the same course.  For the first time ever, I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to pass a class.  It’s frustrating because I feel myself trying too hard to understand whatever comes out of the professor’s mouth and reading and re-reading whatever was assigned… Only to get Ds or D+s followed by a little note saying “For effort.”  I don’t know what makes me feel worse.  A plain old D or a D+ with pity.

The Likes

Two months ago, ipsy sent me a Jesse’s Girl liquid eyeliner.  I knew I would love it just by the name of the brand.  Who hasn’t heard the fun song?   I love this eyeliner because it goes on super duper smoothly and it won’t dry out so quickly like Cover Girl’s felt tip liquid eyeliner.  Keep in mind that it says it’s waterproof, but it really isn’t.  I guess Jesse’s Girl lies sometimes.

Also, The Carrie Diaries season two started!!!  You don’t know how happy I am!  I love this show so much!  The fashion, the music, the location… I just wish I could somehow be transported through my laptop to such a fun environment.  If you’re a fan of the show, keep an eye out for Carrie’s clothes.  If you’re interesting in something, be sure to check out Worn on TV.  I constantly find myself searching for Carrie’s and Jessica Day’s outfits there.

I think that’s all for now!  Sorry for the long wait, but midterms, two jobs and 18 credits aren’t easy!

Have a Happy Halloween!

Revenge Tastes Like the Color Purple

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Salut!

I hope you’re having a great week.  I unfortunately found out I have 4 group projects coming up.  I’m sad, I’m frustrated, I’m anxious.  “Group” projects and I don’t get along.  I admit I’m a bit antisocial, but it’s not because I want to be that way, I’m just “programmed” to function a certain way.  My way is antisocial.  I’m socially awkward and rarely speak up in class.  I let my writing do the job.  I don’t want this post to become a “why group projects suck” type of thing, so I’ll just skip to the other part.

I really wanted to post my thoughts on chivalry this week, but school work and tests didn’t let me.  I know I haven’t given my blog much love lately, so I really, really wanted to post a little something.  Knowing I have a Philosophy test tomorrow blocked me, so I simply decided to share with you one of my assignments.  This was a fun essay to write!

The guidelines were:
-Must involve a conflict, a color and a candy.
-Must be inspired by true events.

Revenge Tastes Like The Color Purple

I’ve never been social enough to bond with roommates, especially with ones that won’t let me sleep, leave the freezer and front door open, the lights and stove on, and turn off the heater when I’m about to take a shower.  I’ve been living in this apartment for almost four years.  I’m the oldest and I have experience.  Naturally, I would be “the boss.”

Cleaning products are expensive, so former roommates and I would split the cost equally.  I’m used to leaving for the summer and returning to find the apartment exactly how I left it.  This year, I returned to an apartment with three freshmen roommates and no cleaning supplies.  They had all arrived during the summer and must have cleaned their asses off, because not even the mop and broom were to be found.  I didn’t even bother to say hi nor learn their names.

“I’m Melanie.  Knock on my door if you need anything.  Leave a $5 bill on the bulletin board to purchase cleaning supplies.”  My introduction was exactly how conversations should be.  Short, sweet and to the point.  A “thank you” wasn’t necessary.

For the next few weeks I would go to class, and go straight to my room as soon as I arrived to the already open apartment, shooing away needless and empty conversations.  I remember finding my melted pint of ice cream in the open freezer a few times.  I also remember waking up in the middle of the night to find most of the lights on and an empty bulletin board.  Am I living with 5 year-olds?  I bought a mop and broom to clean my room and kept them there.

After spending hours studying for an exam, I was hungry and went to the kitchen to get my weekly Snickers bar.  I kept it in the fridge.  At least they knew how to close it and I wouldn’t find it all gushy.  As I opened the fridge, I noticed my name on a piece of paper.  I didn’t read it.  Just the fact that they felt the need to write me a stupid note instead of telling whatever it was they wrote down to my face, irritated me.  I grabbed the Snickers and went to my room.  Before opening it, I heard someone jam the paper between my door and its frame.  Irritation was no longer a word to describe how I was feeling.  I put the candy bar on my bed and decided to take a shower to let off some steam.  I grabbed my stuff and opened the door, letting the note fall to the floor behind me.

The water was so cold, I gasped with every splash.  I could feel their souls giggle with joy after turning off the heater.  I sat my naked and cold ass on the toilet and left the water on to make them think I felt right at home even though I was forced to end my shower after only two minutes.  I got bored and I did some exploring.  I opened the bathroom cabinet and saw our soaps next to our toothbrushes.  Mine was Palmolive next to a no-name soft bristle brush.  Clearly, I’m a gentle and humble human being next to bitches using Dove soap and fancy Oral-B toothbrushes their daddies bought for them.  I turned off the water and went to my room to find the note on my bed next to my Snickers.  I couldn’t believe they had the nerve to open my door and let themselves in.  I read it.

“Melanie,

Please clean the bathroom (mirror, cabinet, toilet, shower, sink and floor).  Your cooperation is appreciated.”

The damn thing was even signed by all three of them, as if it was a legal document.  And the fact that they specified the things they wanted me to clean, irked me even more.  As if I didn’t know the toilet, sink, and shower are a part of a bathroom.  Yes, I was indeed, living with 5 year-olds.  What was I supposed to clean with?  I had nothing and I didn’t plan on using my new broom as a brush.  I was so mad, I lost my appetite and put away the chocolate.  I went to sleep that night thinking about how to make their lives a living hell, just as they were doing to mine.  I woke up the next day pretending they weren’t there.  I didn’t look at them; I didn’t say a word to them.

After taking my exam, I got to the apartment and found yet another note.  This time it was a purple post-it on the bathroom door.  “Please clean me.” – It said.

Rage took over me and my hands took their lavender scented dishwashing detergents, toothbrushes and towels.  I squeezed those bottles all over the toilet, sink, mirror and shower until there was nothing left.  My brushes were their fancy toothbrushes.  It took me forever to get the job done sloppily, but at least I did what I could.

The next day my $5 were no longer on the bulletin board.  I knew they took the money to buy dishwashing detergent and maybe toothbrushes because new cleaning supplies were nowhere to be found.  I wanted to dirty up the bathroom so bad, but I couldn’t do it.  I was not going to undo what I did, but I really did want to get back at them.  I wasn’t willing to leave a piece of crap in the toilet but I was willing to make them think I did, even if it was for a split second.  I took my Snickers bar and dropped it in the clean toilet.  I took one of the purple post-its and wrote “Eat me. J”  Smiley face and all.  I stuck it on the inside of the lid and closed it.

A Snickers bar may be sweet, but revenge is even sweeter.

snickers

I googled “Pin Up Snickers” and this popped up!  It’s Candy II- Snickers by Mel Ramos, who is now one of my favorite artists.  I get how some of his pieces may rub people the wrong way (most of them are like this – women placed on or in something edible) but I find them quite fun.

I hope you liked my inspired by true events homework.  And wouldn’t it be fun if colors had a taste?  What would the color purple taste like?

Lady Stank

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It’s the most horrific time of the year: back to school.  I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with this place (Río Piedras, San Juan, Puerto Rico).  It exudes a sense of freedom.  There’s art everywhere.  A plain white wall is hard to find here.  Everything seems simple.  Just like these sentences.

StreetartThese buildings greet me each day.

didntsee this every Sunday when I get to Río Piedras.

Coffee is almost at arm’s length and a cold beer is just around the corner.  People always say “good morning” as they walk past me.  It’s mostly men.  They don’t always have good intentions, so I focus on their tone.  Some of them make “good morning” sound like a rape announcement.  Those that make it sound like one, don’t get “good morning” back.  I honestly hope their morning ends up being crappy.  Like spill coffee on your crotch crappy.  I guess you could say I’m getting to the hate part of this love-hate relationship.

Time is money here.  Everything is fast paced.  The light is about to turn green?  You better be 10 miles down the road when it does ‘cause if not, Mr. I just spilled my coffee will play you the song that best describes his feelings at the moment.  A little song called “hornraping.”  Anyone can play it, really.  Just honk your horn and never let go.  A beautiful long “beep” will magically make your car disappear.  At least, that’s what Mr. I just spilled my coffee thinks.

I never get why people in cars are always in such a rush.  I’d much rather be in a car with a/c than walk to school in this heat, which is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 1/2 years.  My arms and legs are noticeably darker than the rest of my body thanks to this.  Now we’re getting to the frustration part of this post.

I can’t dress the way I want to.  The way I dress in my hometown is so different.  I always have on at least one vintage-inspired article of clothing.  I can’t do that here.  I sweat buckets of lady stank and am not willing to ruin pieces I almost killed for just to look cute at the university.  And yep, same goes for hair.  What’s the point in curling or victory-rolling it if it’ll be flat by the time I get to class?  My hair is always up in a bun, a high ponytail or maybe a braid.  That’s it, nothing special.  I’m always wearing men’s t-shirts I cut and stretch to make them look less manly.  The pricing on graphic tees is ridiculous.  A Coca-Cola logo shirt for men costs  $12 while the same shirt for women costs $18.  Yeah, I think I’m gonna go with the one for men.  $6 extra for what?  A little shape?  Pfffft!  Don’t even get me started on make-up.

Really, don’t try to get me started, ’cause I won’t start.

The heat here is different than the heat in Ponce.  It’s hot and humid at the same time while in Ponce it’s just hot.  I can wiggle my nose without breaking a sweat over there and the only thing I can wear in both places are these babies:

converseDon’t mind the dingy floor.  It’s been like that since I got here.  Nothing can make it look clean.

Ah yes, my limited edition sequin Converse.  I got these for Christmas when I was 14 years old.  They’ve been everywhere with me.  Music festivals, a Metallica concert, the mall on black friday… They don’t sell them anymore.  I wish I could buy another pair.  I plan on wearing them until they fall apart.

As I’m writing this (almost 11 PM) some kid is screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the street.  Why?  Because it’s Río Piedras.  It’s extremely noisy here.  Some truck, I don’t know if it’s the garbage truck or what… But it comes at 4 AM.  Gun shots can be heard almost daily.  Beeping cars are always around and here I am, trying to blog.

Yep, it’s definately a love-hate relationship I have with Río Piedras.  I feel as if I can be free here but at the same time, I can’t express myself the way I enjoy doing it: through fashion.

Throwback Wednesday

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Let’s forget about throwback Thursday for a few minutes because Wednesday is my favorite day of the week.  Say hello to Throwback Wednesday.

Almost a year ago, my friends and I did a little dance to a mix of Peggy Lee’s “Fever” and Si Cranstoun’s “50’s Pin Up” at a fashion show / birthday party as a way to introduce our group, The Sunny Island PinUps.  The birthday boy was a photographer.  I think that explains the fashion show part.

It was hard to rehearse together due to our different work schedules.  In the end, there were a few bloopers here and there, but we had tons of fun.  Most of the dresses were custom made and I got lots of help with my make-up and hair (I didn’t know how to manage it back then).  The lovely Carla Lune did my hair.

SIPU5

Fancy looking, isn’t it?  I miss having red hair.

I really wanted an excuse to share these pictures because they remind me of a fun, great night I had during a time of sadness.  It was nice to forget about the negative stuff for a tiny while.

SIPU

SIPU3    Marielle.  She did my make-up.  She made me feel so pretty that night!
SIPU8

  Denisse AKA Denixa.  I wish I had her confidence!


SIPU2

Singing happy birthday.

SIPU6

Johnelly.  The comedienne.

SIPU9

    Geraldine.  The lady boss.

Sadly, there’s not a close-up picture of Michelle.  She’s like a mommy to us, because she’s a real life mommy!

SIPU99

Michelle is the one in the light blue dress.  Look at that proud mommy stance!

SIPU7

Carla Lune.  Our favorite Pin Up.

SIPU1
A fun smile inspired by a fun night.

Thanks for enjoying this trip down memory lane with me!

SIPU4

#ForeverFatFridays

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About a week ago I found myself watching crappy TV and got a craving for something sweet and salty.  Like chocolate covered pretzels.  There was nothing both sweet and salty in my fridge so I got creative.  Potato chips and chocolate ice cream?  Yes, please!  I remember texting a friend about my creation and using a useless in texts hashtag: #ForeverFat

ccc

A yummier looking version of what I made.

I find myself eating a lot of junk during summer, probably because I’m bored all the time.  I usually go back to healthy-ish eating habits and regular-esque exercise once the semester starts.  This is probably why I’m always 10-15 pounds lighter during Christmas season.  My weight is always between 140 and 155 lbs.  I would love to get down to 130-135 but eating junk occasionally won’t get me there.  This is why I believe having a non-healthy treat once a week wouldn’t be so bad!  6 days of healthy eating and one to splurge, but only once that day!  It could be either breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack!  Maybe even a drink.

I would love for you to be a part of this journey.  Get healthy and share your #ForeverFat recipes with me!  It would be great to post them here.  Don’t have a recipe?  No problem.  Just take a picture of your meal/snack/dessert even if you didn’t make it and tell us why you like it so much.

I’ll post pictures/recipes/instructions on how to make yummy treats on Fridays, so the section will be called #ForeverFatFriday.  The reason why I picked Friday is not only to stick with the “F”, but also because I hate Fridays.  I think they’re a drag because I start working on Fridays and I hate my job.  Posting #ForeverFatFriday treats on the blog will keep me looking forward to something on such a so-so day.

So go ahead!  Send me your yummy treats to my e-mail: lovelymellyd@gmail.com or send me message through Facebook!

Eating healthy shouldn’t be a drag and Fridays shouldn’t be either.

Back to the Drawing Board

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Hello beauties!

I really wanted to have my post on the word “fat” up by today, but I don’t think it’s complete yet.  I won’t post it until I’m 100% happy with it.  Whenever I write an essay, I must find evidence to back up my opinion, even more so when it’s an argumentative one.

Well, other than excusing the lack of posts on my blog, I wanted to update you once again on the situation regarding my ta-tas.

After my last scare, I cut back my caffeine intake.  My 3-4 cups of coffee became 1 morning cup.  The headaches stopped eventually and I got used to the tiny portion.  I wish I could say my mug was this big:

cofee

But it wasn’t.  😦

A few days ago I felt a lump again.  It had the same cluster of grapes feeling as last time, so I didn’t get that scared.  I got me some vitamin E, just like the doctor recommended because I knew it would get painful.  I quit coffee again and I plan on keeping it that way.  Seriously, I cut my intake by more than half and I’m still having problems.  How annoying!  I love coffee too much!  Don’t suggest decaf, because I tried it and all I can say is yuck!  My breasts have gotten bigger and are hurting but not as much as the first time (thanks Vitamin E).

After making the decision to quit coffee once and for all, I came to the conclusion that I need some sort of substitute.  I usually have breakfast with coffee and a glass of water—never juice.  I’m not a tea person, so what now?  I thought about drinking healthy energy drinks like Verve.  I was a Verve brand member but after a few disagreements with my team, I quit.  They were just in it for the money and I didn’t want to be a part of some greedy group like that.

VerveBig

Their energy drink has tons of vitamins and stuff that is actually good for you, but I forgot one thing—Each can has 80 mg of caffeine.  Back to the drawing board.

I thought about Sambazon açai smoothie packs.  They’re full of yummy nutrients and healthy energy your body needs.  I first tasted it in a delicious açai bowl I got at a local coffee bar & bistro.  So many blueberries, so much tastiness.  The down side?  It costs almost $8.  Forking over 8 bucks a day adds up to lots of dollars.  I’ve purchased the smoothie packs and tried making the bowls myself but they don’t taste quite the same.  If you have a yummy recipe, please share it in the comments below!  I would love to try it!

sambazon          bowl

I’m now on a lifelong quest to find coffee replacements.  If your boobies don’t get all cranky when you drink coffee, go ahead and enjoy it as much as you can without going overboard.  I sometimes think that my excessive amounts of caffeine caused this and got to the point where I can’t ever go back without lumps popping up again.  A similar thing happened to me with nail polish.  I used to change colors each day.  I even chipped off my polish and painted my nails the same color out of boredom.  It got to a point where my fingers got all red and extremely itchy.  Apparently I touch my face a lot without noticing it because my face developed a nasty rash all over.  I now have to get gel manicures.  Yes, with the UV lamp and everything.

Life lesson: moderation is key.

Note to self: Cut back on pizza, ice cream, split ends serum, reality tv, long showers, sleep…. And anything enjoyable.