The Horrors of Shopping

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Having a pear shaped body makes finding clothes online that actually fit a really hard task. With a full time job as a people pleaser -er- I mean waitress, I barely have time to go to the mall. The idea of having to take my clothes off in a tiny room with a dirty mirror gives me the creeps but it’s something I have to do. Anxiety overcomes my body as I hear footsteps getting louder and louder. Suddenly, a violent knock on the door. “Ocupado,” a word I was ready to spit out as soon as I got in the fitting room is heard in the short hallway with black-stained walls. Seriously, how much can a paint job cost?

I hear people mumbling, obviously complaining about how long people take to try on clothes. I remind myself that some decisions can’t be rushed when there’s a huge gap between my back and a pair of skinny jeans. Big booty / small waist problems. I slip on a smaller pair but they don’t make it past my thighs.

“Size up and tailor down.” All of a sudden, Stacy London pops up in my head. I remember What Not to Wear. Would Stacy and and Clinton be ok with these $55 jeans? I grab a leg and pull on both sides to test for stretch. A two inch difference is not enough.

“Miss, are you ok in there?” How long had it been?

“I’m fine.” Ugh, I had to hurry. Maybe if I squeezed my ass enough I could forcibly pull up the 25″ waist jeans. I did a little dance, I jumped a bit and I was starting to sweat. I reached my thighs and prepared for the moment of truth. Squeeze and pull. Squeeze and pull. Squeeze and… rip. I felt my eyes get big when I heard the dreadful noise of stitches coming undone. My fashion design professor would be so ashamed of me. What would a pre-“Fancy” Iggy Azalea do? A knock interrupted my thinking.

“Yes! I’m almost done. Jeez.”

I took both jeans and decided to buy the 26″ ones. $55 and I had to tailor them? Bummer. But there was nothing else I could do. I opened the door and the angsty teen already had his arm extended.

“Oh, um, I’m taking both.” He rolled his eyes and led the next lady towards the dressing room. As I walked past the long line, I felt eyes of judgement on me. Did they know? Did they hear? I scoured the store for the perfect spot to dump the wounded jeans. I figured camouflaging them would be best. I looked for one of those neatly stacked tower of jeans and stuffed them between size 25 of undamaged goods. This was evidence I needed to get rid of. I walked away with quick feet with my eyes on the counter. I was already reaching for my purse when I heard someone sigh in frustration. I looked over my shoulder and saw an employee down on his knees surrounded by a sea of denim. The jeans had fallen like poorly stacked Jenga tower.

“Next!” It was my turn and I panicked.

“I tried these on and decided I don’t want them.” I left the jeans at the counter and ran.

To be continued…

What I learned at the Victoria’s Secret Semi-Annual Sale

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Photo via cupofniall

We finally got a Victoria’s Secret in my hometown and though I didn’t get what all the hype was about, — I mean, they’re just bras— I caved and went to the store only to find out they were having their semi-annual sale. Oh crap. As a newbie, I learned a few things:

  1. You’re probably wearing the wrong right bra size.

    Here’s what will happen: One of the ladies in all black will insist on measuring your bra size and say you’re wearing the wrong one. I went from a 36B to a 32D. At first I thought it was just Victoria’s Secret sizing. If the bras run two cup sizes too small, women will get excited thinking they’re bigger than they actually are. Turns out they run true to size and 36B and 32D are just sister sizes. Nice try, Victoria. Nice try. This takes us to number two:

  2. Look for sister sizes. 

    You like that super cute mint bra with watermelon pink rhinestones on the straps but it’s not your size? Check out your sister sizes. You may find it in another size bin. When a bra’s band size is increasing, the relative cup volume is decreasing. And when a bra’s band size is decreasing, the relative cup volume is increasing. More cup sizes can actually fit your breasts! More options! Yay! Use the size chart below to determine alternative cup sizes.

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  3. Panties first, bras later.

    If you have OCD, meaning you must wear matching underwear, dive onto the panty table first. There are less panties than bras. Search for cute ones and then look for matching bras. Remember they don’t necessarily have to be a set. Go for matching colors or lace patterns.

  4. Team up!

    Go with a friend. Keep a lookout for each others size while frantically searching for your own and meet up at the dressing room later. Remember it’s sale and a random hand might snatch that $125 Christmas special edition, now on sale for $35, which was your friend’s size. Stick with the buddy system, grab what you can and get rid of what you don’t like later.

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  5. Check their website

    If you don’t like the idea of a crowded store, online shopping is always an option. The only downside is you don’t get to try on the goods.

  6. Save up!

    Yes, it’s a sale but bras are still $16+ and very few of them are cute and within the $20-$25 range. If you want to stock up your intimates drawer, keep in mind that this sale is usually held during December/January and June/July. Fill that piggy bank!

  7. Remember your closet

    Yes, that purple passion bra is lovely but will it show through your tops?  Are most of your blouses white or ivory? If the answer is “yes,” go for neutrals first.

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  8. Go as soon as the sale starts at no risk!

    If people would take the time and actually read the back of their receipt, they would learn that Victoria’s Secret has a 14 days price adjustment policy. Just take your receipt and the credit or debit card you used to make the purchase. Any markdowns will be returned to you in the same method of payment.

    Now save up to stock up during the Summer sale! May the bra odds be ever in your favor.

 

Recent OOTDs

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I was 14 years old when I started taking pictures of myself.  I remember MySpace was big back then and posting at least a pic a day was crucial.  MySpace is no longer what it used to be and it was replaced by the oh so public Facebook.  Playing silly games like Candy Crush and making the transition from high school student to college freshman made me loose my style a bit.  Looking great wasn’t so important to me anymore.  Stained jeans, stretched t-shirts and Converse that were falling apart was my go to outfit.  It still is, but I can honestly say I do my best to dress up a bit on the weekends.  Having to walk 20 minutes to a classroom under the Puerto Rican sun doesn’t really motivate me to put an effort into dressing myself.  Who wants to see a sweaty dress anyway?

I’ve been trying to document my “good” outfits lately.  I figured if I have such cool stuff, why not show people?  I like using Instagram because I can tag the brands and stores where I got my clothes or accessories, making it easier for you guys to find them.  It’s how I discover new brands and fun bloggers.  I can’t really write much on Instagram and I doubt people would want to read a lot there.  I know I get antsy when I see a long paragraph underneath a pic so I decided to talk a bit more about my OOTDs here.  Hopefully you’ll fall in love with some of these brands.

Tropical Bliss

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I got this super cute floral top by La Cabana on eBay.  I searched vintage pin up top and this popped up!  I don’t think you can get these anywhere else.  I’ve searched everywhere.  If you love the island flair, you can start looking here.  I got mine for $16.

The Joys are back Jeans in capri by Fervour I got on ModCloth.  They looked odd on me so I cut them.  They look more flattering on me like this and are super comfortable.  Unfortunately, they’re sold out on the ModCloth website.  You can check out other Fervour items here.

This outfit is perfect for hot summer days or every single day if you live on an island!

Snack Attack

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This dress screams fun!  The brand is Folter.  They recently changed their name to Retrolicious.  I got this dress on ModCloth for around $70 and it was worn by AnnaSophia Robb on The Carrie Diaries!  The belt does not come with the dress but at least it has pockets, right?  Dresses with pockets are the best.

The ice cream wristlet is by Betsey Johnson and it comes in several colors.  Blue, like mine, pink and glitter fuschia.  I got mine on eBay for $60 (I think).  I thought it was going to be much smaller and was totally surprised when I got it.  I wish it came with a long strap because I’d rather not have my purse dangling off my wrist, but I guess I can make one.

Now for the shoes.  These were a DIY project.  After checking out several shoe stores looking for the perfect flats to paint, I got these at Payless for $20 and the brand is Lower East Side.  They were a darker brown when I got them.  I got inspired by Shoe Bakery.  Knowing I couldn’t afford a pair of their delicious shoes, I decided to try and make my very own.  It took me two days to make these and I’m completely happy with how they turned out!  Shoes + materials: around $35.

Berry Fruity

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away!  Let’s start off with my favorite purse.  I was lucky enough to get the very last Pomme Sweet Home bag on ModCloth.  I remember asking myself if I would ever use this purse.  It wasn’t until I realized there was only one left that I swore I’d use it at least twice a month.  It’s perfect for a tiny little picnic or for a dose of cuteness.  It’s pretty big on the inside and it comes with a long strap.  The brand is Ollie & Nic and I got it for $65.  Please be aware that Ollie & Nic sell the cutest purses.  Click at your own risk.

I got the Strawberry Fields dress… where else?  On the ModCloth website, of course!  The brand is Bea & Dot, a ModCloth brand.  I got this $100 dress for $30!  The quality is very nice and the fabric is thick.  A bit too thick to wear in Puerto Rico, but hey, cooler months are coming and I’ll surely wear this around.

Calling Dotty

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Minnie Mouse, anyone?  This Hell Bunny polka dot skirt was my first ModCloth purchase almost three years ago.  It’s way too big on me now, but I’ll never let it go!  It has comfty pockets and it came with a detachable bow.  I now hold it up with my Pin Up Girl Clothing belt.

The retro crop top was a Go Jane purchase.  I don’t think they’re selling them anymore but a decent crop top shouldn’t be too hard to find.

The phone purse is by Betsey Johnson and it’s the bag that started my novelty purse collection.  You can plug your phone and actually talk through the handset (is that how it’s called?).  I got the bag on eBay for $80 and it went to Paris with me.

The saddle shoes?  Another DIY!  I got $5 sneakers at Walmart and some black acrylic paint.  Sneakers + materials: $12.

I hope you enjoyed reading about these outfits I like to call treasures and that you found a new favorite brand or designer along the way.  Keep your eyes peeled for these posts or follow me on Instagram for more #ootds!

Ever wonder what a vintage-loving gal trying to be gangsta’ looks like?

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You’re welcome.